anneli rufus
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How to Stop Hating Yourself

Self-loathing is a dark land studded with booby-traps. Fumbling through its underbrush, we cannot see what our trouble actually is: that we are mistaken about ourselves. That we were told lies long ago which we, in love and loyalty and fear, believed. Will we believe ourselves to death?

Unworthy boldly explores the personal, societal, biological and historical factors that have made some of us our own worst enemies and spurred years of needless suffering. Arguing that 99.9 percent of our low self-esteem isn't reality-based, Unworthy spurs a dialogue and illuminates the steep but crowded path leading toward self-acceptance.

"Anneli Rufus has an incredible insight into the human condition. ... She shows us that no matter what was said or done to us, self-loathing does not have to be our fate. Hers is a strong, sympathetic and encouraging voice."
-- Henry Rollins

"A practical, if heartbreaking, roadmap. ... This book should be required reading for anyone suffering from low self-esteem, and while it will likely cause readers to tear up repeatedly, the empathy and grounded advice is sure to help inspire healing."
-- Publishers Weekly

"Unmasking and destigmatizing the mantle of doubt, fear, guilt and self-blame under which millions of otherwise average Americans quietly suffer and detailing the ways in which self-haters can start to build toward a more accurate understanding of themselves. ...Brutally candid. ... A clarion call to those who struggle with self-loathing that they aren't alone or powerless and that they are capable of healing their battered souls."
-- Forbes

"In a market overflowing with self-help books, Rufus has written one that stands out in the crowd. ... This is a hopeful, helpful book for anyone who has struggled to accept themselves."
-- San Jose Mercury News

For frequent updates about Unworthy and the latest self-esteem news, visit the Unworthy blog:

Unworthy: The Big Blog of Low Self-Esteem

Reviews of Unworthy:
    Publishers Weekly
    San Jose Mercury News
    Everyday Health
Interviews with me about self-esteem:
The Sad Secret Successful People Don't Want You To Know
    The Atlantic
How one author breaks the cycles of self-loathing
    The Chicago Tribune
In selfie culture, narcissism often means self-loathing
    The Epoch Times
(Reprint of The Atlantic interview)
Radio interviews with me about Unworthy:
    Public Radio International
To the Best of Our Knowledge
The Roundtable
    KLLC/Radio Alice
The Liz Saint John show
    Conscious Talk Radio
Conscious Talk program
Recent essays I've written about low self-esteem:
    San Francisco Chronicle
Just you wait: An unopened gift invites anticipation
    Experience Life
The Unexpected Gifts of Travel
    Psychology Today:
Who Hates Themselves? It's Not Who You'd Think
    Spirituality & Health:
Are You Playing Dead?
Six Spiritual Gifts of Low Self-Esteem
    Huffington Post
#LowSelfies: A New Healing Strategy for the Insecure
    Huffington Post
Are You Perpetrating Crimes Against Yourself?
    Rewire Me
Can You Handle Criticism?
Low self-esteem in a high self-esteem city
    Psych Central
Self-Esteem and Friendship: It's Time to Start Trusting Your Friends
    Psych Central
How Does Despising Yourself Hold You Back?
    Vitamin W:
Self-Loathing and the Self-Esteem-Industrial Complex
Excerpts from Unworthy:
Low self-esteem is good for you
    Spirituality & Health
You Were Not Born With Low Self-Esteem
Articles that mention me and Unworthy:
    Women's Health Magazine:
What Men Think Your Sexiest Quality Is
    Cultivate Your Happiness
5 Signs you're a 'negative narcissist'...

2014 anneli rufus